TEBOWMANIA!!!

By Ben

Raise your hand if you’ve been swept up in TEBOWMANIA.  I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve got both of my hands raised.  So how the heck am I typing? You don’t wanna know.  But it could be this Tebroner I’m sporting…

Anyways, incase you’ve been living under Andy Reid’s boob flap for the past 6 weeks, Tim Tebow has sparked the Denver Broncos and led them right into the thick of the AFC playoff race.  It ain’t pretty, but he gets the job done.  Watching a full Denver Broncos game is a lot like that one girl from college that you hooked up with.  Come on you remember her, she was the terrible kisser, and she never quite knew what to do.  But the icing on the cake is that she never gave you anything more than an OTPHJ (over the pants hand-jibber), and you always seemed to be wearing jeans.  Yet when it was over you had a smile on your face and you called her up the next weekend. How did that absurdly visual tale not remind you of a game started by Tebrow!?!? OK. OK. What I’m trying to say is, Timmy Touchdown always starts off slow and a little bit awkward, and even though its never pretty he comes through at the end no matter how painful it was to watch.  And at the end of both the game and that awful hook up you’re left with a stain on your Levis that only the finest dry cleaner can get out.

The dude is a winner, he gets in less trouble off the field than a nun, and yet MANY people still hate him. One reason could be sheer jealousy, or maybe it’s the fact that his passes are less accurate than FOXNEWS reporting.  However, I believe the main reason for the hatred towards Tebow is the fact that he is a little over the top with all of the God stuff.  In America, everyone is entitled to their own religion and can conduct themselves accordingly, and to this I say TEBOW Bless America. Too far? Probably.  In all seriousness, I would tend to agree with the circle of people who feel Tim Tebow is a tad in your face and over the top with his religion.  I get how that might rub some people the wrong way, but like it or not Tebow has a platform in which many people will be able to see and hear him.  Other athletes have done a whole lot worse with their public platforms…

A couple of weeks ago I was told it was impossible to sneeze with your eyes open, so over the past week or so every time I sneeze I try to keep my eyes open.  I have yet to succeed and I actually popped a blood vessel in one of my eyes.  So if you see me walking around and my right eye looks like Charlie Sheen’s after a weekend in Cabo, do not be alarmed.  This is why I am such a big Tim Tebow fan because he loves being told he cannot do something and then going out and proving them wrong.  Granted pursuing your dreams as an NFL quarterback is completely different than trying to keep your eyes open when you sneeze, but you catch my drift.  Even though he was one of the most prolific and winningest quarterbacks in college football history, “experts” and analysts said he would be a fullback or a tight end in the NFL.  

One of his biggest critics has been Trent Dilfer, a guy who completed 55.5% of the passes he threw in his relatively pedestrian career. Trent Dilfer also had a career QB Rating of 70.2…well below what is considered average.  Dilfer has the ultimate trump card, which is a Super Bowl ring, but I think even Rex Grossman could have won a ring with that Ravens team, cut to Ray Lewis nodding in agreement.  Granted Tebow has started way less games than the guru known as Trent, but his QB rating is at 81.1 and he gets better and better with every game.  His throwing motion ain’t pretty and his passes are fairly inaccurate but he has proven time and again that he has a tireless work ethic and his heart is bigger than Albert Haynesworth’s waist line.  As of right now, his intangibles are outweighing his shortcomings as a passer and his teammates believe in him and love him.  You have to believe that his shortcomings as a passer will steadily improve.  Even his coaching staff believes in him evidenced by their willingness to completely revamp their playbook in order to fit his unique skill set.  Head Coach John Fox may have said some unflattering things publicly about his quarterback, but he is beginning to believe in Tebrow based on the fact that he asked #15 to give a speech to his teammates the night before last Sunday’s game vs. the Chargers.  The only person with the Broncos who has not fully bought into Tebowmania may be the most important person, the Executive Vice President of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, John Elway.  In other words John Elway makes roster decisions and he holds Tim Tebow’s fate in his hands.  But with a 5-1 record what other numbers could Elway possibly be looking at?

I do not know what goes on behind the scenes at Broncos headquarters but maybe Elway is not sold on Tebow because he didn’t draft him, or maybe it’s because Tebow is making people forget about good ol #7.  Only those involved will know for sure, but I've got a feeling Elway is going to becoming around pretty soon.  I mean for Tebow’s sake! This guy is a unique talent and will only continue to improve. 

I’m drinkin’ the Tebrew by the gallon because he is exciting and fun to watch.  Tebow plays a different style of football and his teammates have responded.  He has taken all of the unrelenting criticism in stride and used it as motivation.  While Tebow has gotten all the attention, the defense has truly been the anchor.  They keep the game close enough so Timmy Touchdown can work his magic at the end.  And time and time again Tebow has come through in the clutch when his teammates needed him most. Just ask Rex Ryan. 

Did Tebow just score with :53 seconds left, or did Mrs. Ryan just put her shoes back on?

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TOP TEN TV SHOWS FROM THE 1990'S

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Redskins Ramblings

By Ben

It’s already November and there are so many intriguing sports stories to talk about here in the DMV. 

-The Capitals are 9-2 BBQ Sauce Bruce benched OVI at the start of OT the other night. (Bigger story here is that the CAPS are looking goooooooood!)

-The Hot Stove just got turned on and the heat is starting to crank up. The Nats are going to be big players this offseason. How does B.J. Upton and C.J. Wilson sound?  Maybe they will go after J.T.T. or R.L. Stine too!

-The Orioles are balls deep in the quest for their new General Manager and candidates have been coming in and out like the line at Chipotle at lunch time.

-And maybe the biggest crime is that the Washington Warthogs are still disbanded!

However, in this town the Washington Redskins are king.  It does not matter whether it is November 3^rd or July 3^rd, the Skins are the top story in the DMV and are the most dissected franchise in the area. With that said, I have got some thoughts concerning the Redskins and I’ve got to get a load off my chest like Lisa Ann after a full day’s work.

Let’s be honest with ourselves Redskins Nation. In the words of the round, mound of sound bites, Denny Green, the 2011 Washington Redskins are who we thought they were.  They entered this season with no real playmakers on offense, a patchwork offensive line, and a two headed monster at quarterback that even the Seattle Seahawks were not jealous of (Cut to Tarvaris Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst A.J.-Hawking me).  If your expectations for this season were any better than say 7-9, then you are nuttier than an 8 year old’s poop the morning after Halloween.  Those unrealistic Redskins fans (of which there are many) got teased by the Redskins 3-1 record worse than they were by their date at junior prom.  It was then that the injuries began to pile up like Big Mac’s on a lunch order by Albert Haynesworth.  We lost the entire left side of our offensive line, we lost Santana Moss (our only “playmaker” at wide receiver), Tim Hightower (who was really looking like a beast in the running game), Chris Cooley (the fan favorite who was clearly playing on one leg), and lately O.J. Atogwe and Fred Davis (the emerging animal) have been hampered by lower body injuries.  Train Rex was absurdly terrible as a starting quarterback, which is exactly what we expected. I’ll admit, I was begging for John Beck at the start of the season and the crow I’ve been eating the past two weeks tastes exactly like you would think.  But what do we have to lose by starting John Beck, aside from another 10 games?  We know Rex Grossman has a habit of how do you say…shitting the bed.  At least with John Beck we didn’t know exactly what we were getting which left the door open for anything better than Rex.  Either way it’s not a great situation to be in as a franchise or fan base, but such is life as a passionate Redskins fan.

The Redskins sit at 3-4 and appear destined to go 3-13 the hard way.  Now before you go jumping off the Woodrow Wilson you need to put it in perspective.  Yes we as a fan base are very impatient, and rightfully so because we have endured one terrible decision after another under Dan Synder’s reign of ineptitude.  However, he has let go of the reins a bit and handed them over to Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan who have had success in the NFL.  It was pretty obvious that the focus of this past offseason and the draft was on improving the defense and I think overall it was successful.  Adding O.J. Atogwe, Josh Wilson, Barry Cofield, Ryan Kerrigan, and what could have been with Jarvis Jenkins were great moves.  One can only assume this upcoming offseason will be focused on improving the offense.  We will have a top 10 pick in the draft and will likely have an opportunity to select either Matt Barkley out of USC, or Landry Jones out of Oklahoma.  Upgrades at wide receiver and running back will be essential, and continuing to sure up the o-line is also a key task. 

It was pretty obvious that the team Shanahan and Allen were inheriting last year was going to take some time to revamp and improve.  Year 1 of the new regime was business as usual at Redskins Park as our beloved team resembled more of a circus than a football team. The Ringling Brothers were spotted at Redskins Park taking notes.  Mike Shanahan’s decisions at quarterback resemble Jayson Werth’s all too familiar box scores, 0-3. The quarterback is obviously the most important position on the field, so the Redskins NEED to get this right and the 2012 Draft will hopefully cure this problem.  Mike Shanahan is no dummy; his son on the other hand is a horse of a different color.  I honestly do not have the time or patience to write about the nepatimistical (real word?) clown who calls draw plays from the 8 on 3^rd and Goal..  All in all, it’s time to relax Redskins fans.  No one likes losing and watching this team every Sunday has become about as fun as watching Gigli.  It’s time to accept that this is a truly mediocre team with a lot of room to improve.  It’s time to take the foot off the pedal and stop expecting this team to compete for the Lombardi trophy this season let alone a .500 record.  Let’s lower this season’s expectations and continue to be patient.  I know you’re frustrated, hell so am I, but if we continue to trust in Shanahan and Allen, we will be rewarded.  Wow, I am totally living up to the title of this article; folks we are in full on rambling mode. I will try to clean it up…

This week on The Lavar Arrington and Chad Dukes radio show Chris Cooley had some choice words for the fans of the Redskins.

“Our fan base hates our owner because he can’t ever keep a coach, he’ll never keep players, he’ll never keep guys around, he changes it and it’s like a fantasy football team to him. But then everyone calls in and says we gotta get rid of Kyle Shanahan, we gotta get rid of Mike Shanahan, we gotta trade Chris Cooley. I hate it, what we’ve got to do is keep consistency over a period of time and continue to try to build.”

As a fan base we have been begging for some consistency after Snyder has spent the past decade firing coaches and overpaying players who are incapable of holding Graham Gano’s jock.  While Cooley is right, we need to show patience and believe in the system that is in place, but this is not the sole reason why we hate Dan Snyder.

Hey Chris, here are just a few reasons why we hate Ol’ Danny Boy:

1)   It costs $90 to sit in the upper deck.

2)   Beers cost more than one semester at Virginia Tech.

3)   He sues local papers for expressing their freedom of the press at his expense.

4)   He charges for parking at training camp.  Read that sentence again.

5)   He’s friends with Tom Cruise.

6)   He hired Vinny Cerrato.

7)   He meddles with football affairs of which he knows nothing about, and he has mismanaged every coaching search he has ever been involved in.

I’ll stop there because my blood is boiling thinking of each and every way Dan Snyder has raped this fan base of our once proud franchise!

Chris Cooley has been a fan favorite ever since the Redskins drafted him in 2004.  He has played his heart out for the franchise and he has played through broken ankles, broken fingers, concussions, and ill-fitting equipment.  I love how candid he is when he is on the local radio and I truly hope he is back with the team next year.  But come on man, we don’t hate Snyder just because he has mismanaged this team worse than the CEO’s of Enron.  He is an uberrich fanboy, yet he has totally forgotten about the fans and makes his decisions based solely on the all mighty dollar..  That is not an owner I want running my favorite team.

My final rant is directed at Carlos Rogers.  This week the 49ers come to town and while Carlos Rogers may be returning to D.C., its pretty obvious he left his hands back at Auburn a long time ago.  This guy has dropped more interceptions than the amount of times DannyTanner had a heartfelt sit-down-with-one-of-his-daughters–with-background-music.  Carlos never had more than 2 interceptions in any season with the Redskins and yet he already has 3 for the Niners.  Rogers has always been a very good cover corner except for when a receiver runs a double move…Seriously, though Kate Gosselin has a better chance of getting another reality show than Rogers has at defending a double move.  I can’t stand the people who are sticking up for him by saying that he played poorly the past couple of seasons simply because he was unhappy and he just needed a change of scenery.  Oh boohoo dude, you were unhappy playing for a franchise steeped in tradition, with an avid fan base, while being paid millions of dollars.  Do you think everyone loves his or her jobs? Hell no, but we all do them and go about our business.  You signed a contract and were still receiving pay checks therefore it is expected that you will play up to your abilities no matter what your mood is. Punk.

Keep you heads up Redskins Nation, our patience will be rewarded.  Stay the course, and never forget to HAIL!

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An Open Letter to Redskins Nation

Fellow Skins fans,

     I guess the most shocking thing about this season is not the 3-1 start, not that Rex Grossman is.,...well..."Wrecks Grosse man", not that the Slingin' Celibate has accuracy problems or would not be a starter for any other CF, I mean NFL team, NOT EVEN THE 3 SOON TO BE 6-7 game losing streak!!  It's the fans reactions to all of the above.

      You mean to tell us, that even after the 3-1 start, with such dynamic players as Rex Grossman, Tim Hightower and Santana Moss (no offense here, they'd be excellent 2nd options on a contender, with the exception of the alien fetus Grosse-man) would guide this team to a playoff berth!!?!?  I'm sorry, but that was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.  There are just too many holes everywhere, a broken offensive line, your starting RB and number 1 WR out, Cooley on the IR (more on him later);  there was simply no way this team was going to be competitive.  

     Optimism should still be felt around the area for the 'Skins, there is a plan in place, there is a young, very talented defense coming together before our eyes, with a blitz happy evil genius defensive coordinator leading them.  Call me crazy, but in a year or two, the number 1 defense in the NFL will be in our backyard.  Also, lets not forget, that with losing, and lots of it, comes relief in the form of the draft.  In years prior this wouldn't mean a thing because Snyder traded away draft picks like Kim Kardashian trades professional athletes.  HOWEVA, Bruce Allen either spoon feeds The Daniel horse tranquilizers every morning, or Snyder is genuinely not meddling anymore, leaving football brains to do football things; again reason for optimism.  if the Skins aren't drafting in the top 5, trade back, again, get another 2nd rounder, again, and go from there.  The 'Skins need to be in full out asset acquisition mode in the form of the draft, the more they get, the better.

     Two more reasons for optimism, the Shanahans.  Now, before you close your computer and vow never to read our ramblings again...know this.  Mikey has two rings, could turn any one of our dozens of readers into a 1,000 yard rusher, and clearly has an eye for offensive talent.  One more reason, his spawn Kyle.  Has he made some bad calls this year? He sure has, but hasn't every offensive coordinator?  Also, think about what Kyle did with a top-15 QB, one elite reciever and an above average tight end.  His pieces in Houston were Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels (I know what you're thinking, ARIAN FOSTER, to that I say shove it, Foster made his debut last year while Kyle was trying to coach the corpse formerly known as Donovan McNabb).  In DC he has Jex Greck (Rex Grossman + John Beck) Santana Moss and Fred Davis.  See what we're getting at? HE DOESN'T HAVE THE PIECES!!!!  Fred Davis, yes, he's the future, but they need a WR and a QB.  Lets get him an above average (slighty, see Schaub) QB, and a top 10 reciever (Johnson is top 3 but he doesn't come around often) and you're GUARANTEED to see improvement, the stable of RB's is better in DC than Kyle had in Houston (i'll take Tim Hightower 3 hours after surgery on hie torn ACL over Steve Slaton every day that ends in Y!), so he can lean on the run game more than he could in Houston, a balanced offense is an effective offense.

    Remember Chris Cooley? Yea, me too. The truth is, he was the playmaker in the offense for a few years, and one of the princes of DC, but now with a diminished role in the offense and a year on the IR, I'm afraid we have seen the last of Cooley.  It's a shame really, and what's worse is they should've traded him before this year while his value was higher.  The Redskins could have gotten a 4th rounder for him, from Chicago to help Cutler, and thus letting him go to a contender.  Didn't happen, the Skins tried to force having two highly skilled TE's in one offense, which we knew would fail, and here we are, Cooley's on the IR, can't be traded, probably will be released....sad really...sorry Chris you deserved better

     Interesting sidebar to the weekend.  The return of Carlos stonehands Rogers.  I understand being disappointed about not being a contender.  But I can count 5 occassions where Mr. Rogers dropped surefire interceptions that probably would've lead to a touchdown.  He has every right to be bitter I guess, we made him feel loved despite his inability to catch, paid him millions, bought his jersey, and begged for autographs.  That's cool though, leave the team that discovered and coached you and made you a millionaire despite your obvious flaws, then first chance you get, throw that team under the bus, class act. 
     
    Chew on those ramblings Redskins fans, but please don't spit em out.  Swallow em, digest em, and crap em out and text me a picture of what they look like.  I promise it won't look as bad as you think.  And if it does look bad...flush it and forget it. The Redskins will be back damnit, ya just gotta have faith.  


Keepin the Faith,


Tyler